how to deal with negative person


Do you know a negative person?

We all know at least one negative person in our lives. For some reason they cannot see the good, instead they complain about everything. They focus on the things they don’t enjoy or don’t have.

Something I have learned is that these “energy vampires” go around spreading their negativity and don’t produce positive energy. They are like black holes and they suck the life out of you!

This is challenging especially when you are dealing with people you care or people you work with. Not only is this frustrating, it is incredibly draining and if you don’t stay focused and preserve your positive mindset it may lead you in their negative downward spiral to the point of you feeling depressed.


What are common traits of the negative person?


  • 1

    Easily offended, they have a propensity to take offense at others’ comments. For example, “Good morning honey, you are looking beautiful today” is interpreted as, “you mean, I didn’t look beautiful yesterday?” They will turn a positive comment/compliment into something negative.

  • 2

    Pessimism, negative people will see and feel failure before they start a project, they are quick to conclude that an important presentation will go bad. This person will avoid making an important phone call because he/she assumes that they will be rejected. They always have a negative opinion to offer, even when something positive happens, they see the negative. When they have a victory, the victory is not “good enough” and when they have a problem, they prefer to victimize and complain, rather than work out a solution.

  • 3

    Judgmentalism, they have the tendency to attribute negative motivations to others’ innocent actions, for example, if you walk in a room with ten of your friends talking to each other and you say hi to nine of them and before you can acknowledge number ten you are pulled to a different side of the room. The one who you did not say hi to (assuming she is a negative person) will assume that you purposely did not acknowledged her and will be upset with you.

  • 4

    Status quo, they seldom do anything about the things that bother them. Instead, they stay in the jobs and relationships they complain and hate.


What can you do?

I have seen advice like “Avoid them”, but it does not work all of the time. It may work when dealing with a distant acquaintance or even a friend. What do you do when the negative person is your spouse, a co-worker with whom you must work with to complete a project, or a teammate with whom you must play. The bottom-line is that in reality you cannot avoid them completely; they are everywhere.

Here are three tips you can use right now to help you when you must communicate with negative people:

  • 1

    Steer the conversation towards something positive. For every negative thing you hear, help them see a positive take on the situation. This an effective gentle approach to share of your positive energy without getting sucked into their negative whirlwind. You cannot stop a negative whirlwind with negativity, just like you cannot extinguish a fire by adding fuel to it.

  • 2

    Avoid gossip at all cost. Gossips when looked deeply are unfounded, filled with poison, and a waste of time. Instead encourage the search of facts.

  • 3

    Try to understand. Remember that there are many root causes to negativity. These include abusive relationships, discontent, or clinical depression. This does not mean that you agree with their behavior, it will help you better handle the communication with them.

I hope this was helpful to you. If you have other tips that have worked for you, please share them.