By: Whitney Nicely | Think Save Retire
Only a handful of years ago, I was working in my parent’s trucking business making a mere $500 each week, living for the adventure of weekends away (that I could hardly afford), and hating most days of my existence.
This was not the life I signed up for.
In the span of only a few months, I took my life by the reigns, decided to make some major changes, and started taking big risks.
I failed, several times in fact…but I never gave up. My focus for change came in the form of real estate investing, and in the beginning, I charged hard and fell hard.
Then, the pieces all started to click. I connected with mentors who taught me how to adjust my strategy, and I made $140,000 in 9 months.
My life was forever changed.
Since taking control of my life through investing, I have started helping other women do the same. There is a single repeated element that constantly seems to get in the way: mindset.
Fear runs rampant when you let it take a hold, but when you instead face it head on, look it in the eyes, and tell it who is boss, the noise quiets down and the path forward presents itself.
Yeah, I know it all sounds like a bunch of woo-woo hogwash, but the fact is that far too often we get in our own way when it comes to change, especially making money::gasp::.
I am going to bet that you, too, have a struggle that holds you back from taking the chances and making the changes that will set you up for the retired life you crave.
Let’s be honest: we need money to live, pay for necessities, and cover the comforts we have decided are right for us. So, why do we feel so guilty about making it?
It’s time to stop letting your head get in the way of your life goals, and instead, correct your thinking so that it propels you forward to where you want to go.
So, what are the thoughts that are keeping you stuck? Here are 5 common destructive ones that get in the way.
Which is holding you back?
Five destructive ways you’re sabotaging your life
1: Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is a hugely common struggle that must be overcome by anyone looking to make a change in life. But, it is easy to get stuck in the idea that everything will fall apart if you start making changes.
Maybe you have stories of other people’s devastating life events spinning around in your mind. Or, if you are a big fan of the news, you hear all sorts of stories about how someone lost everything and spiraled into some life struggle.
The world can really seem like a scary place.
The thing is, though, failure is part of life. A life lived without failure is barely a life at all. Every day, whether we realize it or not, we face some arena where we could fail: marriage, friendships, parenting, work, driving, etc. Things happen that are outside of your control all the time, yet you still step up to the challenge each day.
Just like in everything else, when you crave a change in your life you must accept that failure is an inherent risk.
Not good, not bad; just fact.
Focus on what you can control, which is often far more than you recognize. There are so many areas that are under your control, like a determination to figure it out when problems (inevitably) arise, commitment to continuing on even if things get hard and being willing to embrace struggle as a part of the process.
You must learn to embrace failure as a temporary condition in the journey of success. It is a sign of moving forward, so the more failures you experience and work through, the higher the likelihood that you will eventually make the kind of money that you want.
#2 Comparison to Others
If there is one thing that just about everyone experiences nowadays, it is inadequacy due to comparison.
Social media and media, in general, tends to give us a front row seat to the “highlight reels” of many different lives across the span of the world. It is easier now than ever to be acutely aware of how great someone else’s life appears to be, and how completely insufficient your own is.
Now, I am pretty sure that most of us work to fight this battle of comparison in the general landscape of our lives, but what about in the arena of making money?
In the exact same way that we often are exposed to the best portions of someone else’s life with social media, we often only become aware of someone else’s financial success once they have hit a pretty high mark.
Few people share the earliest days of their business-growth journey, hustle to create a side income, or the endless variety of not-so-easy stuff they did to achieve their financial goal.
Usually, it is not until success has been achieved and proven that people open up about how difficult it was at first.
So, take this to heart. If you are still in the early stages of hustle and push, and things are hard, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
It is hard to get a boulder moving uphill! The vision, though, is that on the other side of that high hill is a rolling continuation of the initial effort that will keep things moving for years.
Most of us know the adage, “Nothing worth having comes easy.”
But, knowing and internalizing are two very different things. Stop and realize that no one who has achieved financial success has done so without a significant struggle. Where you are is not a reflection of where you have the potential to go.
Determine your course and keep doing the work. Your success will eventually follow.
#3 Imposter Syndrome
Have you ever felt like you are the only person in the entire room that literally has no idea what you are doing?
Maybe you have this sense that you are a total fake, and that if “people only knew” how little you know you would likely lose it all. Imposter syndrome is a fascinating struggle because it is a feeling that presumes “everyone else has got it all figured out”.
The reality is that this is far from true! Most people are simply doing their best to face the issue in front of them. In fact, many people jump headlong into things they are not prepared to face because they know that doing so will actually make them better at what they do.
For most of us, things aren’t automatically easy.
A great quote from Richard Branson, owner of the Virgin conglomerate label, is “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later.”
If that is not leaning into “imposter” potential, I do not know what is. But, this is the way that success is achieved! Taking risks, failing forward, and staring down the unknown of life with the determination to figure it out.
This “leap and learn as you go” mentality is the foundation for a growth mindset. Rather than thinking that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” reject that nonsense and embrace the fact that learning comes at all stages of life!
If you have learned how to do something before, you can sure as heck do it again! You are not fixed in your knowledge, and you are not finite in what you have the ability to learn.
So, the next time that you feel like a total fraud in whatever it is you are doing (work, life, financial success, etc) remember that everyone else is simply doing their best guess, too.
Face the struggle, leap in, learn along the way, and do your best. If it fails, learn from it and then try it again. Wash, rinse, and repeat. Always.
#4 If you want money, you must be greedy
Nothing stirs up a political debate like the topic of money.
When it comes to making money, today’s landscape seems to make it clear that there is something wrong with having it (or, “too much” of it).
However, no matter on which side of the political spectrum you fall, we can all agree that money is a necessity (see opening paragraphs). If you are burdened by the idea of having a lot of money to give your life comfort, there are still some ways to deal with that feeling.
First, feel free to donate and/or make altruistic use of the money you earn!
The fact is that if you have the heart to see people live better and do better you surely cannot do much about that when you are broke. The best contributors to society are the ones who can produce jobs for others!
Can you come up with a way to employ those around you with the soaring cash you want to make? Consider out of the box thinking for how you can use money in a way to serve others, eliminating the idea that it is “greedy” to have it.
Next, use your money to invest in others!
Philanthropy is a HIGHLY valuable asset for so many start-ups around the world right now. Many new business owners with incredibly innovative ideas need some capital to get started.
If you make a load of money, you can always use it in a way to “pay it forward.” The buck does not have to stop with you (pun intended ::wink::).
Finally, consider that money is simply a tool. It is not some evil entity that tilts the heart and mind towards corruption and selfishness any more than a television inherently seduces a viewer to be lazy.
You have a mind that can make plenty of choices, so take time to think about all of the good that can come from you making a ton of money!
While taking care of yourself is surely a noble goal, it is certainly equally as exceptional to look for ways to expand that effort even further to benefit others. Reject any lies that money is evil and that you are greedy for wanting it.
Instead, think of great ways to help prosper others along the way (even if it means teaching others to do what you’ve done so that they too can be financially free!) and your dollar will go much farther than you think.
#5 You’re Not Worthy
The final destructive thought I wanted to discuss is a lack of self-worth.
Somewhere along the course of your life, maybe you have come to believe that you don’t deserve to make a life-changing amount of money.
Words might have been tossed your way saying such things, or maybe someone criticized you when you made some money and you subconsciously agreed with the sentiment.
Today, we are going to reject that nonsense. Yes, nonsense!
Tell me first who actually is “worthy” of a pile of money? Can you define that person? I sure can’t! The fact is that everyone deserves to live a life they love and make money doing something they enjoy, but the vast majority of us do not have the fortitude and determination to make the changes in our lives or ourselves to achieve it.
Your worth as a human is not determined by your bank account; not for you, not for anybody.
You’re a human being, and inherently valuable, but you have to believe that. Before you can ever really live in a way to invest in your own existence you have to believe that you matter enough to honor and respect.
Do you have to be perfect to do that? No, none of us are perfect.
Will you see things that you don’t like about yourself and that you want to address? Yes, of course. That’s what it means to be a human.
Decide today that you are going to be your own best friend.
You would ever tell your best friend that they should absolutely accept what life throws at them, sit back, and throw their hands up. No! You’d encourage their dreams, cheer them on in their goals, and support them in any way that you can.
So, do that for yourself, too!
Don’t stop treating other people as valuable. Treat yourself and your own dreams and goals with the same exact support. Your dreams are worth it; your future does matter. Recognize your own value and support your own dreams starting today.
Are you ready to make life-changing money?
Phew, that was a lot, and it was heavy, but really, that is what this is all about. If you are truly serious about making life-changing money, you have to get serious about the things that it takes to do it!
This is not the easy road. This is a road of work and hustle, long nights and incredible focus. There is a reason that not everyone decides to travel down it.
But, if you are serious about your dreams of retiring early, committed to doing what it takes to make it happen, and intentional about growing in whatever painful way is required to achieve it, I am confident that you, too, will live the life you’ve always imagined.
As a wise man (Dave Ramsey) has said, “If you live today like nobody else, you’ll live tomorrow like nobody else.”. Now, get to it. Your dream life is waiting for you.
Republished with the permission of ThinkSaveRetire.com.